Lost Souls

This term has been a difficult one for me so far. Not so much the academics, although that is always a lot of work and time consuming. This time it's the emotional toll. I'm working in a hospital psychiatric ward, and while I'm fine while I'm on the floor my heart is breaking for the lost souls who are there, and their families. There are so few resources in this state and in this area in particular and so much need. I feel badly for my patients who had no chance from the beginning. Not only do they lack the insight to see what they must do to get well, but they lack the social support to have a chance. No stable family life, their history is a mess, and despite myself I find it very rough to look at these people especially the young ones and not think but for the grace of god go my children. While they don't have something like psychosis or schizophrenia, autism comes with some similar challenges in being able to construct an independent life. Right now they are doing so well in school and functioning at such a high level that I have high hopes that they will lead lives that rival any "normal" person's in their success and fulfillment. I feel very blessed and I am taking things one day at a time right now, doing what I have to do to sooth my soul, and being very very kind to myself, my family and my friends.