Hold on to this moment!

So often when I am with my children I think I want to capture this moment and remember it forever. But it is hard to hang on to the nuances of the memory. You lose the details even as you capture the big picture. Flash frozen a child is eating their first birthday cake, or discovering the magic of Santa. Today I had one of those moments. Cassie was watching Ben for me in the living room while I peeled apples for pie. I could hear him giggling as she tickled him and it was the sweetest thing ever. I wish I could have videotaped it, but the audio memory will have to do. The sound of Ben laughing and Cassie laughing back was so heartwarming. My children are all healthy,still living under my roof, we have food and a roof over our head, a nice warm house, trees decorated, cookies and other delights ready for the big day. I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Not the least is the sound of my baby's laughter. I am so grateful!

Well it's been awhile. Ben is now 8 months and still sweet as sugar. He started saying Mama on Saturday, first one of my kids to say that before dada. No teeth yet but he's getting mobile by rolling around. He won't stay on his tummy long enough to figure out the crawling but he can sit by himself. He is eating banana, applesauce, pears, sweet potato and yogurt now.

We are all ready for Christmas. Trees up and stockings hung and the kids are looking forward to a visit from their aunt and new cousin. My SIL is getting married a few days before Christmas and decided to pop down to see us for a quick visit. I am so happy for her and so excited to see her. Last time I was so wrapped up in school and NICU visits that I barely got to visit. I can't wait to meet her new husband and stepson as well.

Changing wardrobe

Company girl coffee time! http://www.homesanctuary.com/ So I realized the other day that I've been walking around the last few months in clothing that is much too big for me. It's been funny realizing this because I should have been able to see it. I lost 15 lbs right before I got pregnant, then ended up delivering at my pre-pregnancy weight. Now I'm 14 lbs below that. So I am a full size or more smaller than I was before Ben was born. And still wearing the clothing from before I lost the first 15lbs. There was one pair of slacks in particular that I was able to button up the entire pregnancy. So this week I tackled my closet and was thrilled to discover in the back an entire fall wardrobe that fits! Out the door went the sloppy baggy clothing and I feel so much better about myself wearing clothing that fits. I still need to lose more weight but I don't have to look frumpy until I get there. I passed them on to someone else through freecycle and it felt really good to help someone else while letting go of things that don't work for me anymore. Plus I have a much neater closet and room in the back to spare. The shelf above the rod now even has room for all my sweaters so they are organized and won't get the shoulders messed up from trying to hang them. Next up under the bed. I don't think there is much there but I can get rid of any lingering objects and dust bunnies. One room at a time I will let go. I also sorted the books in the master bedroom and let go of half of mine. I still need to move them out of the room but I was able to put the ones I'm keeping on one bookshelf. Any one that knows me knows how much progress that shows. Just one box of papers to file and then that room will be completely de-cluttered for my part. My husband is still going through his things but he is also making strides in letting go.

Autumn has arrived

Another Friday and time for Company Girl Coffee! Here's the link to RachelAnne's blog. I can't seem to get the blog button to work http://www.homesanctuary.com/

This week Ben learned to blow raspberries and he took his first trip to the park. It has cooled off and it is starting to feel like fall! Some of the trees have even started to change colors. This makes me happy because Autumn is my favorite season.

We have settled into a nice morning routine. One thing that I find extremely helpful is to set up a launchpad where we each put the items we need for the next day. I mounted hooks on the back of the entry closet door where the kids can hang their backpacks. They are each responsible for putting their homework back in their bags after I check it and sign whatever papers need to be signed, and washing and refiling their water bottles. They each pick out their clothing for the next day. This speeds up the morning and there are no more forgotten permission slips, missing shoes or keys when we need to get out the door.  I need to work on our after school routine a bit since they are still staying up a bit a later than I'd like and I am distracted more than I should be and not following my own afternoon/evening routine as well as I'd like.

Creating a Clean Space

The kids are back to school, and I have started my annual big declutter/clean up fest with the HGP. So far I've managed to clean the front porch, the entry closet and prune 2 of my 6 overgrown rosebushes. It's slower going with a baby but I am trying to do a few minutes every day. This week the focus is on the LR. We have a very small LR, filled with a lot of furniture.My main goal in here is to evaluate every item stored on the shelves, and in the cabinets. They are full and we don't use the items in there much so obviously a lot of these things should go. I managed to give away 4 pairs of snow pants and some other winter items we had too many of or that had been outgrown. I've decided not to store items for Ben, since it will be 10 yrs before he's big enough to wear them and space is at a premium in this house. Sometimes it seems tempting to try to do the whole house "Clean House" style and remove everything and only put those things back into the space that are attractive. But I know it would be an exhausting way to do it with a baby so I'm eating this elephant one bite at a time. It's really not that bad, just that we have lived here 7 yrs and things tend to accumulate when you're busy doing other things like college. But now I'm not a student anymore and it feels really good to take the time when I have it and re-evaluate our belongings and where we are in life! If we stay this space will be more workable and inviting, if we end up having to move it will be easier with a lighter load.

Back to school!

This week was the kick off of the Holiday Grand Plan! I've been doing this Christmas Prep plan for 10 yrs and it's such fun. You can join in at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HolidayGrandPlan/?yguid=320842432 to join the group and do the emails, or just go to the website and do it alone http://christmas.organizedhome.com/holiday-grand-plan
Every year my home is more organized and it's easier to get ready for the holidays. This week is list week and I've gotten a head start on my front porch. It's cleared off and the kids helped me scrub it and now it's ready to decorate for autumn. I seem to have gotten rid of my reusable pumpkins, so I'll use real ones and pick out some pretty mums to put on the porch along with my fall berry wreath. Pics to follow once it's done. I'll likely wait on the pumpkins until it cools off so they don't spoil.

Tuesday my older boys go back to school. Max will be a junior in HS, Jake is in 8th grade, and Nick will be in 4th. Cassie gets to wait until the end of September before her second year of college starts. It feels kind of strange to think that this year I won't be going back with her. Instead I'll be looking for my first "real" job. Ben will be happy to hang out here with me at home and cuddle with me as much as he can. He is such a lovey boy. He learned how to roll over one week ago and he's suddenly grabbing toys and has decided I'm not allowed to put him down at all unless I"m playing with him. But I wouldn't have it any other way. When else in life do you get to be the center of someone's universe? I've been blessed to get to do this five times and it's just as amazing this time around.

Ben was in the paper

Special Delivery | MailTribune.com


We went to tour the new NICU where Ben was born and I was interviewed. 

Summertime and the living is easy

Ben is 4 months old tomorrow and last night he passed his sleep study. We are finally done with the oxygen! I feel positively free! He is growing and we have been having a lot of fun "conversing" with him. He likes to talk to us and is very smiley. The summer has been very relaxing and now that I have passed my NCLEX I am taking a well earned break and just focusing on enjoying some time with Ben. I have one job application out right now, and plan to do more soon. I don't want to spread myself too thin, so I will conduct a very focused job search locally. We still have time before it becomes urgent.

Today I joined my fellow graduates of OHSU Class of 2011 (we are the 100th graduating class) for graduation in Raider Stadium at SOU campus. I walked 2nd to last out of the 1000 or so graduates on the field. This gave me a lot of time to think about how happy I was and to savor the moment. This day is one I will remember for the rest of my life. The message from one of the speakers: with great power comes great responsibility, so go out and do good in the world! I intend to do just that. To take what I have learned and do my best to give back something beyond the ordinary to the community; to make my mark by practicing my craft of nursing with evidence based knowledge, and love for others.

Graduation!

Tomorrow I graduate with my BSN. It has taken me 5 yrs and a lot of hard work. I am so excited to have achieved my goal! I promised my mom 20 yrs ago I'd finish my degree and I'm finally making good on that :) I am looking forward to passing my NCLEX, and finding my first nursing job. During my time at OHSU I met some amazing people and I am very proud to be graduating along side people that I know will make a huge difference in health care and in the world!

Ben at 7 wks

Benjamin at 7 wks

Update

Ben got to come home on May 9th after almost a month in NICU. He is home on oxygen, doing fabulously. I managed to finish all my clinical time and I will be graduating next week!

In Hospital on Bed Rest

Well the best laid plans....

Tuesday March 29 at 11:45 pm I woke up in a puddle and had to go to the hospital. They admitted me and I'm on bed rest until Ben is born. He has had both steroid shots to mature his lungs and they have had the 24 hrs they need to have the full effect. I've been in the hospital almost 4 days now and no contractions. He looks great on the monitor. The plan is to induce me April 9th if he hasn't been born yet. I am still planning to finish nursing school, just flipped my plan to do the clinical days I was going to do in April into May, and having a baby into April :) I'm trying to stay focused on the positive and cross each bridge as I come to it. At least it is reassuring that at 33 wks Ben has an excellent chance of survival and having a normal life.

Spring Vacation

Today I finished off my last clinical day before Spring Vacation. I did 3 extra days for winter term to bank some hours for spring term in case baby comes early. I will be adding extra days whenever available in April. Now I have 10 days off before the craziness starts again. I am looking forward to nesting and getting the house clean and ready for baby :)

This week is a milestone for me. 3 years ago this week I was diagnosed with Bullous Pemphigoid an autoimmune skin blistering disease. I have been in remission for the most part since December, and have have very little disease activitiy since last summer. The remission rate is 70% within 5 years so I feel very blessed. http://www.pemphigus.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=366&Itemid=100080

Time is ticking away!

Today I'm starting the 3rd trimester! It has flown by. I am feeling really great, my feet aren't even swelling after 12 hrs on them. School is going well. My preceptor has 30 yrs of experience in OB and I have learned a lot from her already. The kids are doing well, everyone is happy and healthy.