Statistics

I just got the results of my Statistics midterm. I got an A to my surprise! It's fortunately not as hard as I was afraid of. We have very little homework so far, so I have been able to really relax and enjoy my summer vacation with the kids. I also went over the requirements for a BS under the nursing program, and from what I can tell without talking to my advisor I only have to take Biology, Microbiology, Technical Writing, and 2 more classes about 300 level. That means after next year I will have mostly the nursing program itself to focus on. I am very happy about that!

Just a cute pic of the kids and Aunt Katrinka

Ordered my stethescope

I am starting to gather together the things I'll need for school. One of the items is a stethescope. I ordered a Littman Classic II SE. I got it in raspberry with my name engraved on it :) Since we will be wearing navy blue scrubs I thought a little dark pink would contrast nicely and with my name on it it's less likely to go "walking" a hazard I've been warned about.... I also orderd some completely white shoes, my pen light, and watch with a second hand on a lanyard so it won't get germy on my wrist. I will buy my scrubs and lab coat soon, once I check out the ones at the bookstore to compare style and price.

I go tmy fingerprints done for my backround check, the third Hep B shot taken care of. OK because it's not a live vaccine. All I have left is my TB tests which have to be done a week apart, and the antibody titers I have to have run for Hep B and Chicken Pox. Then wait for the backround check to come back, send off all the papers and I'll be done until the drug test. Lots of little hoops to jump through but it's all coming together nicely.

In other news, Lane took off the weekend to have a mini vacation with the kids and we are going to go a BBQ at a friend's church tomorrow and watch fireworks there. Nick has made some really great little friends and we have started to make friends with the parents as well so I am looking forward to this. It is supposed to be 85 tomorrow so much cooler than it has been and it should be a wonderful 4th!

I'm IN!!!

I got a phone call today to inform me that a spot opened up and I have been admitted to OHSU Nursing School for this fall! :) I am SO thrilled!

Nick lost his first tooth!

Done with A&P

Today I took my Anatomy and Physiology Final Exam. I think I did very well. It feels good to be done with this term and enjoy two weeks off before I start Statistics. I am very tired! I plan to take a lot of quiet time to myself to just relax and read whatever I feel like. Also tackle a few projects later this summer to get the place organized again. We are still shuffling things around from our spring flooring project and I want to get my house back to normal!

The kids are enjoying their first week of summer vacation.

Next fall up in the air

I heard back from OHSU, and I will be an alternate for Nursing School in the fall. It's so much better than a no, since there is a chance I'm high enough on the list that enough spots will open up so I will get one.

If not, I will continue to progress toward my goal and apply for next year. I have registered for Statistics for the summer, and Biology with Genetics, and Microbiology for the fall. In addition I will take Psy 228 which will put me on track for my backup plan to get a BS in Psychology.

I am feeling very good physically and mentally right now. The kids just finished school so we are on SUMMER VACATION :) I have 2 weeks after my final before I am back in class, and I am going to really enjoy the break.

A special request for Emma Grace

I have been following the blog of a young mother with brain cancer. She has been very inspirational to me in the way she has coped with her illness. She is also the mother of a sweet little girl named Emma Grace who has autism and is a heart transplant recepient. Emma is in the hospital in very serious condition with a virus that is threatening her heart. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers!!!

I'm not sure why I'm having problems posting the link as clickable but here it is anyhow...

http://especiallyheather.com/

Sweet 16

My baby girl turns 16 today!!! It's amazing to me that this day is already here. She won't alow me to make a big fuss but I'm going to anyhow. I'm off to buy her art pens and canvas and other art goodies and bake a cake.

Bone Density Scan

I got the results of my bone density scan. I'm happy to report I have very good bones :)

What happened to spring?

Wow it's HOT already! We're supposed to get up to 99 today! It feels like it went straight from barely spring to summer. It will probably cool off again, but it's a indication that the summer is almost here.

I had my second lecture test today. I think I did o.k. I had to miss two lectures last week for a Dr apt and waiting to sign for UPs to deliver my medication...so we'll see how I did.

I was able to successfully lower my Prednisone dose to 80 mg this week, so that is progress :) My blood work from the edicrinologist came back and I have borderline low normal vitamin D levels despite taking 2000mg daily, so they are going to supplement me with a prescription. I suspect my kidneys are not turning it into the active form of D. Vit D isn't really a vitamin, it's really a hormone so it isn't like other vitamins. I've been totally out of the sun too trying to avoid the medication effects of being oversensitve to sun so that might be part of it too. My THS thyroid level was low as well and we will get another blood test in 3 months to recheck that. I am feeling really good overall though!

Spring Music Program

Jake and Nick had their Spring Music Program today. It was so nice to go to the school and hear all the kids sing. Nick was so cute when his class did their songs. He knew all the hand motions. I wish I'd remembered to charge the video camera battery but it will be in my memory :)

It's been so lovely here the last few days! And I am continuing to feel really strong and healthy so I am very happy with the way life is going right now!

Feeling so great!

The last 2 days I have felt totally normal! I stepped my prednisone down another 10 mg so I'm at 80 mg now. No new blistering. I was able to totally drop the sleep/itch med as well.

The painting/flooring/household maintenence phase is finished and now I am sorting through everything and getting it put away. I had the closet doors replaced so now my hallway looks so tidy with doors on my pantry. I also had the handyman add a shelf over my laundry area for more storage, fix the broken hinge on the kitchen cabinet and the broken drawer all for $375 including the supplies! Quite a bargain for the work and he did a very nice job. I am really happy to have found someone who is prompt, polite and does good work for a reasonable rate for household repairs. This will really reduce my stress level!

I also got an A on my lecture exam. Lab exam is on thursday and I feel really good about this term so far.

What a difference a month makes!

One month ago my arms were covered with huge blisters. Here is what they look like today!


I still have more rash in other places that is healing, but oh my what a relief. Barely any itching, only a few hot spots and the medicine is clearly working. My potassium level tested in the normal range at the second blood draw so I just have to watch to make sure I get enough in my diet and I should be fine.

In other news I got an A on my 1st lecture exam, and the lab exam is on thursday. I feel very confident about that exam as well.

The new flooring is all in and we are moving our furniture back in today. Life is feeling almost back to normal :)

Adjusted meds

I lowered my Prednisone dose down 10 mg on Tuesday. So far only a few tiny tiny blisters behind my ear and one in my mouth. About the same amt of blistering I was getting on the 100 mg, so I am sticking with the lower dose. My Derm called and left a msg saying something about my labs having a value that she didn't like but she hasn't called me back yet. Overall my body is healing and I really hope I can stay on the Cellcept because it is working and I want to get the Prednisone lower. There is another med we can try if I can't tolerate the Cellcept for some reason.

Amazing Grace

I went to Accupuncture today, and as usual it was just what I needed. Kara Miller at Jade Mountain Medicine is my Accupuncturist and she is just so talented and intuitive. Today the music playing was Native American and on the CD was the most beautiful version of Amazing Grace in a Native Language (Not sure which tribe) accompained with Irish Music. Interesting combo that really resonated with me. I had some pretty bad edema on Monday and Tuesday and the treatment I had on tues took care of it almost completely! It helped today as well with everything. I am healing very fast. Still on 100 mg Prednisone, trying to reduce it was too soon earlier this week. I have NO new blisters today, and the others are fading. My forearms look SO much better. Hard to believe I had huge blisters there only a few weeks ago. I will take a pic and post so you can see how much better I look.

I feel almost normal today! :)

In the Clear

Today I had my follow up U/S for my rt breast. It went fine. The area they wanted a closer look at they pretty much came to the conclusion what they saw is normal lymph tissue. So I can relax on that front.

I also had an apt with the opthomologist today and he won't rule our MMP for now. He says we will wait and watch and he's fairly certain its just BP but he thinks it bears watching closely due to the mouth/throat involvement. I will continue with the eye drops. He feels the Cellcept and Prednisone will help with the eye enough I should be able to wean off the drops eventually. He also warned me I will most likely end up with Cataracts from the Prednisone and eye drops, but not to worry about that for now as that is a long way off. I also found out my optic nerves are at a funny angle. Nothing to worry about, just the way my eyes were made. I go back to see him in 2 months.

As for the rest, tomorrow I have class and an apt with the disability services office. I want to get in the system just in case I need a note taker or something later in the term.

It's working!

Since I have started the Cellcept I have only gotten a few new blisters. Overall in the last week I have noticed a dramatic downturn in new rash and blisters. Today I got a few behind my ears, and they are all very small. The rash itself is still there, but only "hot" in a few places. The only side effect I have noticed is my ankles and feet are quite swollen. So I've elevated them as much as possible.

Friday I had an IEP meeting for Jacob. It was a very positive meeting. He has made a lot of progress this year. He will be going to the 5th grade at the middle school with the same teacher Max has had this year. She has been able to help Max so I feel confident Jake will be in good hands. He is excited about it as well.

I also had an apt with my dermatologist in Medford. I'll see her again in 6 wks. I will see Dr. Morrison at OHSU in June.

We finished up the painting in Max's room and will be moving the furniture today so he can move in! Then I have to put the office things back into the desks and tidy up the kitchen and LR where all of it has been waiting. Next week the flooring goes in the bedroom so those things will need a place to be moved before the end of the week. It feels like a sliding puzzle where you have to rearrange the pieces! And of course I have a bit of studying to do today as well.

Another good day

Yesterday I was very tired from all the travel, and I am also pretty tired today. I had lab and lecture for Anatomy and Physiology and then Accupuncture. I decided to drop all my other classes so that I can heal and focus on what I really need to do.

Since Monday the blistering has been minimal. Only a few new ones mostly on my neck and face and shoulders. The overall rash is fading a bit. I started the Cellcept today. Hopefully it will knock this thing out fast. It is starting to feel like it might be on the way out :)

What a weekend!

Friday I flew to Dallas for the International Pemphigus/Pemphigoid Conference. I checked into the hotel and went to the Welcome Reception. I promptly realized that this was going to be an amazing weekend. I met and talked to at least 5 people in those 2 hrs alone. Everyone was so open and friendly and I got a chance to talk to two of the physicians right away. I walked out feeling just that evening was worth the $ to go!

Saturday we all left to go to Univesity of Texas where the lecture/discussion took place. We had a welcome breakfast, then hours of different presenters and Dr's and snacks and lunch and more snacks. They fed us very well, and kept us supplied with a variety of beverages as well. The Dr's answered questions and it was far more interactive and intimate than I expected. We had about 70 participants, including spouses/caregivers.

Saturday evening I met up with my online friends from my "baby" playgroup and we had a great time out to dinner. It was so nice to finally meet Kelly and Ann in person!

I learned so much that will help in my treatment. Sunday I went out for breakfast with two new friends, then over to the conference for more presenters and discussion and questions. I got to speak to a total of 5 Drs for about 10 min each and they all told me to go see Lynn Morrison. Two of them had worked or gone to school with her. As it turned out, the Dr that My derm made me an apt with at OHSU is the same Dr so I'm in good hands :)
The only rough part about the conference is that I pretty much couldn't sleep. Thurs I got 0 hrs, Fri 3, Sat and Sun 5 hrs each. Luckily I felt o.k. despite that, even getting new blisters Thurs, Fri and Sat. Prednisone can make it hard to sleep and I am on a high dose for now. I slept much better Mon, with 7 hrs.

Sunday afternoon I met another online friend Shiela for a tour of Dallas and dinner. She is a professional geneaologist and we had a grand time talking about our enjoyment of finding hidden family treasure. We walked around the art area and I had the opportunity to take photos of the loveliest little Catholic Church that had the same layout as the church where Lane and I got married. It had incredible stain glass windows.

Monday was my birthday and I flew home, then we went out to dinner to celebrate with my dad and grandma. I didn't feel like it was my birthday until I got home. It was so nice to see Lane and the kids!

Since I had an Apt today in Portland, I quickly bought plane tickets and flew up today. It was going to cost me about the same with hotel, gas, etc and I knew I was in no shape to drive after the sleep deprivation I had all weekend. I got off the plane, and took the light rail train downtown, then caught a cab to the OHSU Dermatology Clinic. I was very impressed with Portland's mass transit! They have a tram that I could have taken directly to the clinic from the light rail if I had known about it. I took that on the way back.

I met with the Dr and about a million residents. I was quite on display :lol They were all very impressed with my rash and blistering and took pictures. This dermatologist was highly recommended by the Dr's at the conference. 2 of them had worked or gone to school with her. So I got lucky that my local derm got me in to see exactly who I should see in OR. She had them take a few more biopsies (to rule out a few other possibile things and to re-do the Pemphigoid biopsy) and blood and is switching my meds to Cellcept which is what I wanted, and lowering my Prednisone to 100mg.

We also agreed that I need to see an Endocrinologist to monitor my endocrine system and minerals, etc because of the high Prednisone dose, and get a bone density scan and to go on Fosomax to preserve my bones from the effects of the Predinsone. She says if I don't respond to Cellcept, we'll try Dapsone next, and then Retuximab which the Ins won't want to pay for at $30k a month :eek She is also open to trying the IVIG if we need to. She says that the ins co will come around because of the pics. BP is usually much easier to treat, often just with medium to low doses of Prednisone so my pics are pretty dramatic and she feels that should convince them it's needed if we do need to go that route.

I feel I am in very good hands and I am really hopeful that this other drug which is considered quite safe will knock this thing out! I will be emailing her and calling her with updates, and see her in person in about 3 months as well as seeing my derm here.

Imuran is not going to be the cure for me

I just got off the phone with my dermatologist. Apparently the blood test shows I don't make enough TPMT a liver enzyme because I am homozygous (got the same gene from both parents) and don't make enough genetically. So my liver can't metabolize the Imuran completely so that explains why it isn't working for me. So I'll be on the lowest dosse of Imuran until we can figure out what to treat me with. My derm is sending me up to Portland to OHSU for a consultation since she's never treated BP with anything except Imuran. I feel relieved knowing why the meds weren't working and even though I'm still uncomfortable this gives me hope another therapy could work.

I am packed and just wrapping up loose ends today for my trip. I fly to Dallas bright and early tomorrow morning :)

First Week of New Term

This term I will have class on 2 days a week T/Th. Yesterday was my first day of the new term and my long day. I have a group counselling class which helps out graduate pychology students from 9-11. Anatomy and Physiology lecture from 12-1 and then Health Psychology from 4-8. The Health Psychology class will be challenging as the professor is a perfectionist. I think I can manage it though. We will have 3 exams, and a 45 minute group presentation on a Behavioral Health topic. Lots and lots of research for that one, and very set perameters on what we need to cover. Which is a good thing, as it defines expectations ahead of time. Those won't happen until May so plenty of time to work on them which right now is a good thing.

Health wise I slept well, but woke up to a LOT of new red rash, which is what it looks like before another round of blisters. One day on a lower dose of the Imuran isn't looking promising. It is a take it very easy kind of day today. Both my younger boys are sleeping in since they are exhausted from Sunday night. They would NOT go to sleep and finalyy did at midnight but they are paying for it now. Rather than send them to school cranky since I don't have to go to class today I'll just let them sleep and take them in before my accupuncture apt at 10. Some days you just have to go with the flow!

Frustrated

My husband has just had his annual review. Blindsided by a lateral move to another team, from computer development to Q&A. He did get a 2% raise and moved to salary, but it feels like a demotion to be moved without notice, and the only one in the restructuring to be moved to another team. I am sad and frustrated for my hubby. He is a good man, works hard and doesn't complain. He's not a dazzler, but he gives good service for the $ he is paid and deserves more respect.

In other news- I had to cut back the Imuran, something in the pre-medication blood work is low and she doesn't want me on the higher dose. If it was working at the higher dose I'd be less nervous about that but I'm still getting new batches of blisters every couple of days.

CAT scan Results

Beautiful to hear, all is NORMAL!! :) I can breath a bit easier now.

Painting Max's Room

This weekend the big project has been painting Max's room. He is moving into the office. At 13 I think he needs his own space. He took everything out of the office himself this week, and we had 2 of his friends over to paint today. We did the ceiling and two walls, and will do 3 coats, then move the furniture to the other wall and do the other two walls. He has planned and executed the whole project with a little help from us. I will be doing the rest of the painting....needless to say with RED paint it needs an adult finess to get the paint even but they did a decent job on the first coat and learned a lot. It's a bold color but it's fun and he likes it. I can deal with that :) And it's just paint. If he ends up not liking it we can repaint.

Test results are not in on the CAT scan, but my mammogram came back normal!

Mammogram

The mammogram was easy. I didn't have to redo any of the scans. She says I should have the results in about 2 wks or less.

I had a new outbreak of blisters this morning. They seem to come in waves. A few good days, then a few hours of blistering. However the accupuncture apt was wonderful. I fell asleep.

CAT scan

This morning I go in for my CAT scan. I will update when it's over! The prep stuff you have to drink isn't too awful thankfully!

Update- All went smoothly. I will get the results on Friday hopefully.

Tomorrow is my mammogram. I will be glad to have all these tests over with.

Grades are in

Women in Psychology A
Intro to Psychology A (required for the psych major if I go that route)
Anatomy and Physiology B+

It will have to be enough! I couldn't have worked any harder to bring that grade up after the two C+ on the midterms. I am giving it over to mother nature to send me the way I am supposed to go.

I had another accupuncture session today. Relaxing but I itched a lot during it. Probably releasing a bunch of stuff. I feel sleepy today so I'm going to take a nap now and enjoy the beautiful spring sunshine when I get up to take the boys to the park. All the daffodills are in bloom!

Happy Easter

Just a few of the eggs we colored. Cassie made them quite artistic this year!

Spring Break!

I took my Anatomy and Physiology Final at 7:30 am today. I think I did pretty well on it! Whatever the outcome I know I did my best and that is all I can ask of myself. Physically I'm feeling pretty good today. Still not very itchy which is a good sign. I went to my regular Dr on the advice of my dermatologist to do a cancer screening. The meds I'm on are ones that depress the immune system cells that fight cancer, so obviously it's necessary to rule that out just in case. About 20% of BP patients have some underlying cancer. This isn't alarming when you look at the age most people are with this disorder 60-80 yrs of age. So I am not letting it scare me, just taking the sensible precaution of having myself checked out. My Dr is having me get a mammogram which I needed anyhow at 36 as a baseline for the future, and a CT scan of my abdomen and pelvis. I will do tha CT scan next Wednesday. I have to schedule my mammogram on my own and will call that in on Monday. I was going to do that today...but I took a nice unexpected nap instead :) I never do that but I guess I needed it! It was very nice!

Pretty good day

A few more blisters on my right leg, and a few new ones on my forearms, but the itching was still noticeably less. I go back to the dermatologist tomorrow to get the sutures from my biopsy out. She called me today to let me know that she will be starting me on Imuran tomorrow. We'll adjust the dose as needed.

Poor Nick sprained his ankle going down the stairs at school today. He's having a rough week!

I got a lot of studying done today, and I feel pretty good about the Immune System chapter! My final is Fri at 7:30 am. I will be very glad to have it finished!

Sweet Relief!

I am SO glad I decided to try accupuncture! For the first time in a month I had the experience of being completely relaxed without itching. The relief lasted until nightfall and it's still much better than it has been. I was very impressed, and I'll be going back on Friday for a second treatment, and 3 times next week. The accupuncturist is also a Dr of Chinese Medicine and she gave me an herbal treatment to take as well as some Essential Fatty Acids. Hopefully those will also be beneficial.

And I was able to take my bandages off tonight as the bigger blisters are all healed to the point they are no longer needing to be covered. I feel very grateful tonight!

I also got my teeth cleaned today, and went to my allergist. He gave me a clean bill of health lung wise, and said to just keep doing what I have planned and he'll see me in Dec.

Nick got to the Dr for eye drops, and spent the afternoon with Grandpa at the park while I had my accupuncture. He had a great time :)

What next!

Right before bed....Jake tells me Nick looks sick...so I go look, and he's got pink eye in both eyes! Poor kid! I guess tomorrow will be a DR filled day since I have 3 apts of my own to go to.

More rash, more blisters

Ugh, last night was rough. Morning shows why, a fresh crop of rash and blisters. My palms are now rashy and my inner thighs. I put a call into my derm"s office since my dose of Prednisone was decreased today and that seems like a bad idea since it wasn't even controlling it at 80mg. I am getting a bit concerned, hopefully they will call me soon.

I went off Wheat, corn, dairy, eggs, soy, peanuts, shellfish, and cantelope yesterday. All foods I show skin allergy results to just in case that's inflaming something.

I just remembered something important!

When I was a child I would break out in a rash every time my skin touched grass! I had contact dermatitis to grass itself, not just the pollen. It would itch horribly and have red welts. So I must have had this tendency from childhood. Everyone thought it was the strangest thing and often didn't believe it was from the grass. Well....seems like more than a coincidence to me! I'm going to mention it to the dermatologist and my allergist. And then I'm going hire someone to get rid of the GRASS!!!

Pretty Uncomfortable today

I slept o.k. last night, but my arms are all prickly feeling. Hopefully healing under the exisiting blisters. I do have some new very itchy rash on my torso and neck and legs, and a few new small blisters. I am going to take it very easy today. I think I did too much yesterday, shopping at 3 stores and doing laundry and then out to see a performance of Beauty and the Beast at the high school. It was a wonderful play and I really needed the diversion. They are so talented!

Today I am going to quietly rest and study for my Anatomy and Physiology final. I am also going to have Cassie help me make Nick a Star Board. He's Star of the week in K and I signed up for next week because I knew I'd have a light school load, LOL, Oh well we can still make it nice as long as I have someone to help.

Article about new research on shutting down autoimmune disorders without suppressing the immune system

New research about shutting down autoimmune disorders without shutting down immune system

Int'l Pemphigus/Pemphigoid Conference 2008

I found out today that the International Pemphigus/Pemphigoid Foundation is holding their annual Dr/Patient conference in Dallas Apr 4-6th. This has a rate of about 1:200,000, so only about 30,000 people on the planet have this at any one time. So this is a golden opportunity for me to educate myself about it. I fly in on the 4th, and the conference is solid until 12:30 Sunday. I fly home on the 7th which is my 37th b-day. This will be the first trip I've taken by myself without my husband or kids since before I was married 17 yrs ago!

I think I'll write a book!

Last night I spend most of the night awake feeling itchy. My sleep meds didn't help at all, and I realized this morning I've been taking my Prednisone at the wrong time of day. I reread all the prescription med info and saw somewhere in the middle, not on the bottle that I'm supposed to take it before 9 am. I've been taking it at night so hopefully taking it at the right time will help me sleep better.

I called my derm again this morning, to let her know the rash is still getting worse, and that I was worried about stepping down the dose. So she sent me in for bloodwork today to see what my starting levels are with an eye to changing my meds once we have the confirmation of the results. I'll be on the 4 a day until Monday and then call her.

I also decided I needed to set up a Health Notebook for myself to keep my medical records and prescription information and Contact information in one place so I can share my comprehensive current health information with all my health professionals. So I put my prescriptions papers in a binder, and wrote down the vital health info- meds I'm taking, disorders I'm being treated for, OTC meds and vitamins I'm using, and contact info in there with all my health care providers and family members. I will take it with me whenever I leave the house just in case something happens to me. That way if I end up having to go to the hospital, or to a new Dr for something it's all with me. I'm going to add all my health records when I get copies. I got copies from my dermatologist today when I picked up my lab work papers.

I figured out a creative way to secure my sterile gauze over the broken blisers. Instead of using the extremely expensive roll of itchy gauze to wrap my arms, I went out and bought some knee high panty hose and cut the toes off. They are $5 a box of 20, and I'll throw them out after each use, vs $8 a box of 5 gauze rolls. The sterile gauze pads with polysporin on my wounds keeps them protected from germs, but this holds them on without tape that irritates my skin and causes problems with places to stick. And it stays on! I just gently pulled them over the gauze patches and put the cuff part near my wrists. I don't even feel them! Heaven after the itchy nightmare of the last few days. Nothing like having very sensitive skin and wearing what feels like a "hair shirt"

My grandma would smile since she was an inventor and used to think outside the box like this all the time.

Today I got to thinking that the best way of dealing for this in a constructive way is to do what I love to do best. Become an expert on the subject. I am thinking of writing a book- about Automimmune disorders and the connection to autism. Every mom of a spectrum child I know that I can think of has some form of autoimmune disorder. Women who do have an autoimmune disorder are 9 times more likely to have a child on the autism spectrum. There must be a genetic thing going on there. It also tells me that autism is most likely autoimmune in origin, or at least making these babies more vulnerable to environmental insult. This idea also sprang up because in looking for info on my disorder there aren't any books out there!! It's so rare it's only in medical journals and short descriptions on websites. If I researched and wrote a book, I could include a large section on BP and other Pemphigus/pemphigoid disorders so that people newly diagnosed could read about others experiences and find out what others are doing.

My latest challenge

It has been awile since my lsst post. I have spent this term battling a mystery itchy rash that progressively got worse and went from tiny itchy spots to finally last weekend huge fluid filled blisters all over my forearms.
Here is what my arms look like





I have been to my regular Dr, the dermatoligist 3 times and finally monday we have a tentitive diagnosis of Bullous Pemphigoid. We have done 3 biopsies and one is going to OHSU to determine exactly which type of pemphigoid I have. Either Bullous Pemphigoid or Cicatricial Pemphigoid. I really hope it's only Bullous because Cicatricial Pemphigoid can lead to blindness.

Detailed information about this rare autoimmune disease is rather hard to find, but I did come accross the International Pemphigus and Pemphigoid Foundation online and joined.

International Pemphigus and Pemphigoid Foundation

I am hopeful that the treatment my Dr has me on will work. Right now I am on 80 mg Prednisone, 2 Tetrycycline, 4 eye drops, Zyrtec, Benedryl, B vitamins, and a sleep med that reduces itching so I can sleep.

I am still enrolled in classes and have a final exam next friday. I am getting a B right now in the class, so I need an A on the final. Obviously though my health takes 1st priority.

In addition to my dermatologist and opthamologist I will be seeing an acupuncturist next week and my allergist. I am going to stop eating all the foods I tested allergic to on my skin scratch test just in case. Previously my allergist said they act differently in the digestive system but I think it couldn't hurt to try. When I can get off the meds I'll have them run a full blood workup on my food allergies.

I also decided we are ripping up the carpet in my bedroom and the hallway and putting Pergo in there to cut down on the airborn allergins to give my body a little extra help. That was already something I needed to do to help me control my Asthma. I also ordered a hospital grade air purifier for that room. Eventually I'll get one for the kids bedrooms as well.

Hopefully between it all we can get this controlled quickly so I can get life back to normal.

I am very thankful I can still drive and handle my own self care.

I have kept up pretty good spirits through this. My husband and kids are all doing a great job of helping me and doing what needs to be done. It's been good for them to learn to pitch in. I am very proud of them!

New Year 2008

Off to a great start in 2008. I sent off my nursing school application, and all that is left is the proctored essay. I will take care of that on the 25th, and then in June I'll find out if all my hard work has paid off. I have 2 terms of Anatomy and Physiology left, and I am taking some upper division classes to cut down on my course load later. So far the term is going smoothly, except for Jake. He's having a tough time re-adjusting to being back in school and has had 5 bad days out of the last 7. Hopefully things improve soon.

In any case our new puppy Sparky is incredibly sweet and really bright. So all is good there :)

Merry Christmas Everyone!

His name is Sparky!

We finally all agreed on naming the puppy Sparky. And boy is he keeping me busy! Not that it's any shock that an 8 wk old puppy keeps a person busy LOL. He's into everything, and having a grand time trying to undecorate my tree. Luckily I have a baby gate to keep him in the LR with me so most of the time that is under control. He already has learned to sit!

Jake made a breakthrough and actually sat on the couch to watch tv tonight. First time ever in this house that he's sat on a couch. He is being so cute with Sparky. Petting him and having fun giving him toys. I can't explain just how amazing it feels to see that after so long dealing with the fear. I love the big grins he's giving me over this pup :)

New Addition

Yesterday I drove up to Portland to pick up our newest member of the family. No name yet but he's 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 Golden Retriever. And 100% sweetness! He's really playful, but also calm. Our whole family is in love.

So many reasons to be grateful!

Today I am thankful for:

My health
My family
My home
My friends
My pets
I can see, hear, touch, smell, taste, speak and laugh.
I have my own vehicle, electricity, running water and enough funds to meet my needs.

I could go on and on and on about the things I am grateful for. But my children are the stand out. I am so very grateful for the incredible progress they are making lately. The last few months have been filled with many momments of gratitude for big leaps of progress. Just today some major progress happened.

My son Jake let our dog lick his hand and was giggling. He threw a toy for her. He pet her ears to see how soft they were because his daddy asked him to. This is a child that 6 months ago still ran away screaming from a dog he's lived with for almost 3 years who only wanted him to pet her and love her. Now he's starting to. At thanksgiving dinner for the first time Max ate mashed potatoes and loved them, AND stuffing and loved that too. He grew 1 inch in the last 2 months. My little guy who was under the 5% for so long is now 5 ft tall! He grew 5 inches in the last year :)

In the past year Max has overcome his fear of dogs as well, and now loves them. He overcame whatever hangup he had about sitting on my bed and the couch and now will sit on them. This was the last holdout of odd behavior at home. He has NO odd behavior at home now. No refusals! It has been a miracle to me to watch him just unfold into a calm and happy person that most resembles a normal young teen boy after being a ball of anxiety for so long. I catch myself just tearing up in happiness about the most mundane things, because for me they aren't mundane, they are a gift. The fears and sorrow I had when I started this blog are melting away like snow in the hot sun.

The principle of RDI- productive uncertainty was the thing I hoped would make a breakthrough for the boys with the dogs. It was a combo of cognitive behavioral therapy- putting them in an environment where the dog was unavoidable, and time, and a bit of luck. She won them over, just like Nick did for Max when he was 5 months old and hero worship melted Max's heart. He couldn't resist the love. And in this situation with Taffy it was the same way.

After Jake pet Taffy tonight he came up to me and gave me a big hug and said "I love you mom" just because he felt like it. Yes I have so many reasons to be grateful tonight!! :)

One brick at a time

I survived 2 b-day parties at the bowling alley for my 2 younger boys, and next weekend is Max's 13th b-day. He is having a few friends over for a day of gaming. Much less stressful LOL. I cannot believe I'll have 2 teens in my house!

I am still averaging an A in my Anatomy and Physiology class. One more lab exam (muscles) and then the final to go!

I will be studying a lot in the next 2 weeks! Lucky me though, I only have to bring pies to Thanksgiving this year :)

Birthday Season!

Tomorrow is Jacob's 10th birthday. We are having his party at the bowling alley. Oh how I love a b-day party with no clean up! It should be fun.

Here is one of my favorite pics of my red headed wonderful guy.

CPR Pro

Yesterday I completed a Red Cross CPR Pro class. One more pre-requisite for the Nursing program out of the way! Another bonus, I am now sure I would know what to do if my husband or one of my children needed CPR. I even learned how to use a defibrilator if one is available. I think everyone should learn!

Parent Teacher Conferences

Good reports from all the boys teachers. Max will be going to a second mainstream class soon, and Jake has met one of his goals. Nick is thriving in K and his teacher says he is excellent academically, as well as really friendly and kind to everyone. I am a happy mom after those good meetings!

Rest in Peace

I had to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do today. Rocky bit my mother who was visiting and I had to take him to the vet today and put him to sleep. It was an unprovoked bite, and with all his other neurotic fearful behavior we had to make the decision on the vet's advice that rehabilitation was unlikely to work in his case. I know I made the right choice, but I am just heartbroken about it. The worst part was having to have my son Max say goodbye. This summer Max overcame his fear of dogs and made friends with my mom's dog, and when we came home he bonded with Rocky. It broke my heart to watch him hug him goodbye. I am having him cremated and will be keeping his ashes and some fur the thoughtful vet tech saved for me. I was with him all the way to the end and he passed peacefully into the great reward. Happy hunting Rocky!

Totally Stoked

I got the results from my A&P Lab exam on the bones. Our instructor already has them posted and the exam was this morning! I got 49/50. I also recieved an A on the Physiology portion of the exam so I am in excellent shape.

I have heard that the first term of this class is the hardest, learning the bones and muscles. So the rest of the year should be very comfortable! I haven't felt stressed at all fitting homework and study into my day. The times I have class fit really neatly into the kids schedule so it has been amazing compared to last year.

1st Anatomy and Physiology Exam

I had my first A&P exam today. I think I only missed 4 out of 75. I am feeling pretty confident about the lab exam next week as well. I need an A in all 3 sections of the class to be in the running for nursing school. We should have the results in a few days.

My nephew

My brother and his wife are visiting from Japan with my 6 month old nephew Cerik. He's cuteness personified! Cutest little smile and really a doll. I haven't asked permission to post a pic, but he looks so much like my brother, only more Japanese. :) They will be visiting for 3 wks, and my mom is coming to visit as well. It will be the first time we are all together since Jon's wedding 6 1/2 yrs ago! That is too long.

Good Reads!

A fun place to share your favorite books with your friends

Help out my friend!

Dear friends & family,

I'm excited to tell you about a project a friend of mine is working on. She is a 42-year old woman who just completed a year-long battle with breast cancer. And won!

Who Needs Boobs? is a non-profit organization she's developing to provide financial assistance to women facing breast cancer treatment and their families.

She was fortunate enough to be blessed by generous and thoughtful people who made sure her family was never in need. The gifts, meals, childcare, support and positive thoughts they gave her were invaluable in helping her family cope. But women who are single moms, on their own, or away from family may not be so lucky.

She wants to "pay it forward" and do what she can to help other young women with breast cancer get through treatment.

Her goal is to provide assistance with meals, childcare and housecleaning, as well as wigs, medications and prosthetic supplies. The first step in her plan is to collect words of inspiration and encouragement from breast cancer survivors at www.whoneedsboobs.com She intends to publish a book with 100% of the proceeds going to support women fighting breast cancer.

Please visit her website, sign her guestbook and PASS IT ON to your friends and family. If you forward this e-mail to ten friends, and they forward it to ten friends, word will spread and she'll be able to reach her goal.

Breast cancer changed her life in so many ways. It taught her that the world is full of wonderful people. It stregthened her marriage. And it helped her define who she is and what her life is all about. This project was meant to be. Please help her make it grow.

Fall Term Begins

The first week of classes has arrived. I am exhausted LOL. I have class right now on Tuesday 12-1:15, and 5-9:20 pm in Medford. Wed Anatomy lab from 9-12. Thursday A&P lecture from 12-1:15 and no class on Monday or Friday.

I have to add one more credit, and the Orientation to Health Care Professionals class is full, so I have to show up and hope she will add me if someone doesn't show up. It would be on Fri from 11-12. Only 1 credit so less work than adding a 4 credit class. If not I will be adding American History which should be an easy class. I sat in on the lecture today just in case it is the class I need to take. It would be T/TH 10-12 so it would fit into my time slot. I want all my classes between 9-1:30 because that is when the kids are in school and I won't have to arrange child care. Cassie watches the boys while I go to my Tues eve class.

So far so good. The Anatomy class is interesting. I got to hold real human bones in the lab. I was pleased at how well I already know the skull. I have been studying for a few weeks so it would be easier. We have open lab for all the lab slots for the last hour of lab so if I need more lab time I can pop in to another section. We also have an interactive DVD to test ourselves with at home. So I am pretty confident I can get an A in ths class. I am considering changing the level to a 300 level anatomy class which would up the difficulty a tiny bit (research paper) but I am thinking it might give me a tiny edge over the competition. So I'll go talk to the professor about that.

Anyhow I am mostly going to have to do my reading on Friday-Mon because after class my time is pretty full with picking up kids, making dinner, soccer practice, homework for the kids, bath time, bedtime and somewhere in there all the laundry, etc. It is going to be a jam packed year!

My DH's New wheels

http://www.toyota.com/tacoma/exterior.html


Here is Lane's new Toyota Tacoma PreRunner! I decided I was sick of sending him to work in a tin can of a Ford Focus, so we traded it in today for a new 2007 white Tacoma. I LOVE it :)

Best of all, since I just paid off my van, combing that payment amount with DH's car payment and this is going to hardly put a ripple in our budget :)

All 4 in school

Nick's first week of Kindergarten has gone very well. His teacher is Mr. F, a BRAND new teacher. So far so good. He is totally comfortable as far as I can tell and has been happy every day when I pick him up. All the older kids are having a good year so far, and I have a good feeling this is going to be a smooth year :)

TEst

http://friends.imagini.net/@1506139-c609

Trip to ID Home and School has already started!

We went to see my mom for a few days and it sure wasn't long enough! But you take what you can get and enjoy what you have :) We had an awesome time visiting my mom and the boys had a few huge breakthroughs! They both overcame their dog anxiety and by the time we went home Jake was letting Trevor lick him, and Max also allowed Trevor to lick him. Since we have come home both of them are handling our dogs better. I actually caught Max petting Rocky today LOL. He was startled that I saw but I just ignored it and pretended I didn't see :D It was so nice to see my mom and Boppa (the kids call them Nana and Boppa)

All 3 older kids went back to school this week and had a really solid first week. Good reports all around. I think Jake will be much happier in the SPED classroom. They have 2 teachers (1 part time) and 2 full time aides and 2 part time aides. I think it will be a good year.

Today I met Nick's K teacher. He has a male teacher who is brand new to teaching- student teaching and subbing a year up to this point. He seems nice and the class is set up very well. I hope he doesn't have too inflated expectations for K though, boys 5-6 are not the best at following directions and he seems a bit perfectionistic to me. We will see how it goes. I would have preferred the other teacher but Nick knows a lot of kids in this class from the Y so he should be pretty happy with that.

I start classes on 25th. Not much longer until I go get my books!

Back from vacation

What a totally awesome time we had.

Day 1 Wednesday- We left home about 10:30 am, leaving the dogs and cats in the capable hands of our pet sitter. Amazingly they settled right in with her and I could leave knowing the dogs would handle it fine. I had never left them before and was pretty aprehensive about it.

We drove up to Seaside Oregon where we stayed on the beach at the Shiloh Inn. It was cooler than I expected and we got there about 5. We went to the beach as soon as we checked in, and the kids and I played in the sand. This was the first time Lane had ever been to a beach with sand at the ocean! He got in the water up to his ankles. The kids and I went out deeper and the water was cold but it was fun. I didn't risk my camera down by the ocean so I don't have any pics of the beach with us on it. We built several sand castles and it was fun.

Then we were all wet, so we headed back to the hotel, changed into clean clothing and headed for the amusement park rides. The kids all rode the bumper cars and the tea cups. I took Nick on both and the bumper cars were fun, but the tea cups were too much for both Nick and I! I felt like I was going to throw up. I used to like those kinds of rides, but not anymore. I think they were kind of unsafe for a kid Nick's size, no seatbelts. But it was fun anyhow for the older kids.

After the rides, we headed over to the shop we bought souveniers at last year and I let each child pick out something. Jake decided he didn't want anything. Cassie got a gel candle with shells in it, Max got a beach glass bottle with shells around the top, Nick picked out a replacement glass starfish for the one he broke from last year, and a big sand dollar. I got a big starfish. Lane didn't get anything there.

Then we went and rode the carosel, and ate dinner at the Chinese restraunt there. It was delicious. Then over to the ice cream shop for cones and back to the hotel to sleep. What a fun day! We were all tired and happy.


Day 2 Thursday- First thing we headed to the aquarium in Seaside, and then we ate breakfast, quickly took pics, checked out of the hotel and headed out on the road. We arrived at about 3:30 at the Lake, and the BBQ was in full swing. The family there included Lane's grandmother and her husband, his sisters Evana, her husband Dan and their children M and A, his sister Merissa and Katrinka and his parents Carla and Jim. The kids had a blast playing tag and Nick and A hit it off right away. A is only 8 months younger than Nick. They were inseperable for the rest of the trip :)

After the BBQ we took a bunch of pictures of the group. The only sibling not there was Lane's brother who had to work. We checked into the hotel, and for the first time got 2 rooms.

Day 3 Friday- We had lunch at Puerto Vallarta restraunt to celebrate Lane's dad's retirement. We then picked my friend Karie up at the ferry and she spent the night with us at our hotel. We went to Dairy Queen for cones and chatted for a bit. She had gotten a bad nights sleep the previous evening, so we called it a night at 11.

Day 4 Saturday- We dropped Karie off at the ferry, and then went back to the hotel. This was the big reunion day at Wye Lake. A lot of extended family came! Lane's Uncle and his family came, his aunt and her kids and their kids, and a bunch of more distantly related people. There were a lot of kids there and everything was so well planned by Lane's sister that we just had to relax and eat and take a ton of photos. We got back to the hotel about 6 and I did some laundry and the kids swam.

Day 5 Sunday- We met my good online friend Debbie and her kids at the McDonald's in Bellevue. I have known her for 7 yrs online and she recently went through chemo for breast cancer and is in remission. I was so thrilled to finally meet her! After that we headed back into Seattle to meet my friend Karie and her boyfriend at the Seattle Center. We got there and decided to go up in the Space Needle first. I had never been, so that was a treat. I took a bunch of pics with us at the top. Then we headed down, bought some things at the gift shop and went out to where the rides were. We couldn't stay more than 2 hrs because parking is attrocious. $12 for 2 hrs! We let the kids ride a few rides, took some pics of everyone and then said our goodbyes. I wish we could have spent the whole day there and next time we will plan that in.
We rode the ferry home, $42 for 6 people and a van....not going to do that again anytime soon. But the kids got the ferry experience and I got some pics.
Next we went out for dinner with family at Olive Garden and that was a lovely dinner.

Day 6 Monday- Monday we finally got to see Lane's brother. Katrinka got the pics with all 5 siblings like she had wanted for 2 yrs. It was the first time in 17 yrs all 5 were together at the same time. We had a really nice visit with Lane's brother, and the rest of the day we spent at the hotel recovering from our busy weekend. I did more laundry and started to pack it all up!

Day 7 Tuesday- We had to head out early to meet another online friend at the zoo. We got everyone in the car by 9 and checked out. It was hard to say goodbye to Evanna and Dan and the kids. A got really choked up. I know Nick is going to miss him so much too. They live on the east coast so visits are hard to do often.

We met my friend Carol at the zoo and it was really fun. Her kids were really sweet especially her son who is 13 and really a great help with little ones. We walked the whole zoo, got done by about 12:30 and then we had to head out. We didn't get out of Tacoma until almost 2 though because we had to eat lunch, get gas, find a bathroom since the gas station didn't have one! Then we drove the entire way home on I-5 and got home at 10:40 pm. What a long day! But amazing to me that it is really only a 1 day drive. We will have to do it again a lot sooner!

All in all a very successful vacation and I had such a great time. Not too exhorbitant either!

Off on vacation!

Tomorrow we leave for my husband's family reunion. A whirlwind week of visits. We will see his grandmother, my aunt, and all the other relatives. Then I'm seeing 3 friends that live in the Seattle area. We are also fitting in an overnight at Seaside, OR on the way there, and the Pt. Defiance Zoo. I was going to also go to Camlan, but decided it was too much. I am really happy for 2 reasons.
1. No puppies on this trip because I found a great pet sitter!
2. 2 hotel rooms for this trip and my kids will have enough space to let me maybe actually enjoy my time at the hotel!

Reiki

In June, I had the opportunity to go have a Reiki session. I went in very skeptical, and came out feeling like a million bucks. So I went back for another session, and then decided I wanted to learn how to do it! This will be one more positive tool in my tool box to help my children and myself in a path to a healthier more balanced life. I recieved my first Reiki attunement on July 21, and I will go back on the 18th of August for the second. In the meantime I am enjoying my first steps into using Reiki.

Parents know all

What a character! Last night Lane and I decided to vacuum under our bed, because something has been biting him at night and he thought it might be a spider. We didn’t find a spider…..but we did find a bazillion toys and garbage under our bed that a certain little someone put under there. We made him come in and pick it all up. While he was doing that, Lane said something to the effect of “I bet every time I asked you to pick up the mess you made on our floor you just tossed whatever it was under there.” Nick looked at him and said “I’m just going to say that you really freak me out when you read my mind like that!” We just about busted a gut trying not to laugh!

The surgery was a sucess!

My 9 yr old had his tonsilectomy on the 22nd. He flew through with flying colors. He really amazed me by his ability to handle the fear and pain and just do what he was asked to do. His recovery so far has been amazing. The hardest part has been keeping him quiet enough and not running around. 5 days after he didn't even need pain meds anymore. Now he's just itching for the o.k. to get back to rough and tumble play with his little brother :)

Summer is so wonderful just sitting and enjoying the momment. I am relaxing and doing just the bare minimum and treating myself to some R &R :) August will bring 2 trips, one to WA to my DH's family reunion and one to ID to see my mom.

IEP Hell- Going out of my mind!

I am in IEP hell right now! Because the educational system makes up it's own rules about what category to put your child in based on it's own criteria, my older son is facing "undiagnosis" of his Asperger Syndrome and is going to have to be placed under the "Emotionally Disturbed" category because he has been so sucessful at learning social behavior with his peers that he no longer qualifies for SPED under the Autism category. Never mind that he doesn't interact properly with adults, and still is definately in my opinion on the Autism spectrum. I am seriously just fed up with this whole system.

Since we got here in 3rd grade he hasn't learned any more writing than he knew at age 8. His math skills are at grade level, but he won't do more than a few problems. He won't take direct instruction from an adult, and will not respond to any of the tactics they have tried to use on him. None of this is new. He is exactly the same kid that shut down on them in 3rd grade, more or less. Just happens to have made 2 friends and is now comfortable in his classroom in middle school.

SO they spring this nice little "change of classification" on me without written documentation at the beginning of his 3 year re-evaluation, before we even go over the PLEP (Present Level of Educational Performance). The SPED director blatantly tossed this bomb out like he was announcing "Milk or juice" and I lost it.

I had agreed to do an FBA, hoping we could figure out the reasons he isn't learning. I should have realized they would use it to bite me in the ass. He's getting a new teacher in the fall and I hoped this would help her. Instead, all I got was this reclassification, and a suggestion to take away the only thing he likes about school- his lunch time with his friends, and his break time. You know that is only going to lead to a complete school refusal. But then it won't be "their fault" it will be my fault. They are just creating a nightmare for me. And for my son!!

Between both boys IEP stuff and school issues it is a wonder I managed to get a B+ on my last exam. I am seriously wondering if I am going to be able to do the nursing program now.

Update 7/2/07

Well I got the mess straightened out. I was able to negotiate the Autism label, with secondary label of ED. Hate to concede even that much, but sometimes you just have to. He has made a lot of progress I think in other areas the last few months, it's subtle but I am hoping it pays off at school next fall. The brain maturing as he enters adolescence may be the key to unlocking the frontal cortex maturation he needs to plan and execute the more complex academic challenges coming his way. At the very least I just have to hope he has better rapport with the new teacher. I have to keep reminding myself that even if the school system fails my son, I won't! He has a supportive loving family and that will mean more than the backwards school system and it's shortcomings.

I have a new nephew :)

I forgot to say.... my brother and his wife had their first child on Mar 28th. Their son Cerik was born weighing in at 5 lbs 6 oz which is in the normal range for Japanese babies. He has lots of dark hair and he's so cute! :) I am so happy for them! My brother sounds over the moon happy about his new son.

I'm back

I switched my blog over to a Google acct, then promptly the username password wouldn't work. I figured it out so now I can update my blog :)

Life has been totally crazy. I am taking 3 classes this term. Nutrition, USEM 103, and Lifespan Development. My 9 yr old has been totally melting down at school, so I am also attending school with him in the resource room every day when I am not in class. Needless to say I have no free time at all and I will be thrilled to see summer vacation! I observed the site based classroom today to see what I thought about it for him. So far I think I really don't have much choice. I like the teacher ( I helped hire her LOL) and she seems to have a good set up. Whether Jake will accept it or not is the question!

In addition to the school issues, Jake had an apt at the ENT last week, and he will be getting his tonsils out on June 22. He has had sleep apnea for awhile, and I finally caught it on tape so the ENT said he would definately take them out so he can get enough oxygen while he is sleeping. I am so relieved since I wanted to do this last year! The poor kid has snored since birth and mouth breaths and I think his apnea is really making life rough for him. Next up is getting him on Zyrtek to get his allergies under control. I have him on Loratadine but it's doing nothing for them.

I got Nick my 5 yr old registered for K this fall, and he has come with me to the school on the days he doesn't have daycare. He is going to do just fine. He has had a lot of fun at recess with the big kids LOL.

Cassie is really maturing. She got braces a few weeks ago and has done really well with them, hardly a complaint. She also gave her first speech at school and got an A on it :) I can see her academic skills growing a bit and that makes me very happy since she seems to be getting the idea about homework needing to be turned in to get credit finally LOL.

Max is doing o.k. I still haven't heard from his teacher about his IEP mtg. They are doing an FBA and I hope it's going to be done soon. I want to be done with school meetings for the year. He seems like he's been doing better lately so I hope they can get something useful out of the FBA.

Anyhow, my summer plans are in flux now. We were going to visit my mom in June, but Jake can't travel for 3 wks so it's looking more like Aug now. Way too hot in my opinion to visit ID, but we will do it anyhow. Once a year is just not enough to visit my mom.

Update!

Fall term is over and I achieved A's in both the classes I took. Winter vacation was wonderful. We had a lot of family time and despite being sick I enjoyed every minute.

Now it's back to the school schedule. This term I am taking 3 classes. University Seminar 102, Psychology 202, and Intermediate Algebra. So far everything is going well. I have had to work very hard at the math, but I am confident I will pass the class.

I have been in a very good mental state all winter, which is a relief since I tend toward seasonal affective disorder when it's gray. Taking my B vitamins has really helped with my energy level and kept my moods level. :)

The kids are all doing great. Nick loves his friends and the activities they do at the Y so I don't even feel conflicted about him spending so much time there. He is going to do just fine in K socially. He has made friends with all the little boys in his class. They are very cute at this age, playing superhero lately LOL.

Cassie has been feeling kind of anxious around other people, so unfortunately she seems to have inherited that from me, but she is gutsy and doing well despite that hurdle. She had finals last week, so I won't know until those grades come back how she did her first semester of H.S. She cut her hair off last week to donate it to locks of love. It looks really cute.

Max is doing well in school, but I have to encourage him more to invite friends over. And Jake has been having a rough time lately, regressing a bit. But one bright spot, he's finally reading chapter books and enjoying them :)

That is pretty much it. Just focusing on my classes and trying my best to keep it all together.

Term is almost over

Kids are sick, and I am fighting it off. Fortunately, I am done with everything except my finals, and my portfolio for my University Seminar class, which mostly consists of final tweaking of my papers, and a self-reflection essay that is only a page long. So I'm not feeling stressed. The Sociology final is a take home essay, and I am pretty confident I will do well on it. I have only a week until the term is over :)

I got some awesome pics of my youngest son yesterday. It snowed 6 inches and stuck, which only happens 1-2 times per winter here.

Week 3 of Fall Term

Doing well so far in school. I am not feeling overwhelmed at all. I have plenty of time to work on my homework while Nick is at the Y. I am enjoying the spirited discussions in both my classes. My USEM teacher is awesome. I am so inspired by her. And the other students may be young, but they are so eager to learn and so involved. So different than my previous college experiences :) I am so happy right now!

Cassie is doing well in school too. Her grades right now are 2 A's, 2 B's and 2 C's. I think she'll pull both C's up by the end of the term, but even if she doesn't she is really trying and I am very proud of her. She even is getting up a half an hour early on T/TH so I can be on time for class. No complaints about having to help out more and I am just so thrilled she is being so helpful! :)

Lane also has been helping out a lot, watching the boys T/TH morning and taking them to school. He also finished the gravel path that he started this summer without me having to nag anymore :)

When life is good it is amazing!

Registration Today

Today I registered for my Fall 2006 classes. I am taking 2. Because I got in so late I had little to chose from, and had to wait list one of the classes I wanted to take. I will be taking a writing class, and a sociology class. I have figured out how I want to take the rest of my prerequisites before starting the nursing program, and I hope to finish those by Spring 2008. I don't really want to start my major until Fall 2008 so that my youngest son will be in school all day and won't have to be in daycare as much. This semester I won't need any daycare during class times, since I am taking a 8-9 am class T/TH and a 4-6pm class T/TH. My 14 yr old DD will babysitt for the evening class until DH gets home, and DH will watch them in the morning until I finish class and then he can go to work. DS in middle school
will take the bus, and DH will drop off our other school age son. I will drop off DD on my way to class and pick her up on the days I need her home earlier than the bus gets her home. This is going to be wild! LOL

I felt rather odd on campus with all the young kids. I felt like I should be one of the parents bringing their kid, instead of the student. But once I got to the transfer student orientation I felt o.k. They weren't too much help for me, but I will make an apt with my nursing advisor and hopefully that will help clarify what credits I still need before I apply. Thankfully next term I will be able to register early and hopefully get the classes I need!!

My H.S. student!

Yesterday we met with DD's High school counsellor to set up her schedule for the year. She is now enrolled in 7 classes. She will be taking

English 9
Health Sem 1/ PE Sem 2
Global Studies
Japanese I
Study Skills
Drawing/Painting 1 & 2
Algebra A

All I need to do to get her ready is buy her a cell phone (prepaid) and enroll her in the weekend freshman overnighter. They have a sleepover to let the kids get to know each other before school starts.

What a day!

Yesterday I took Cassie to do her standardized testing to comply with the homeschool law to get tested after 8th grade. On the way home she tells me she WANTS to go to Public H.S. now. After the initial OMG butterflies, I tell her o.k. if that is what she wants :) We registered her this morning, went to do the second 1/2 of her testing in the afternoon. When we got home, it was off again to register Max in middle school, and Jake in 3rd grade.

A lot of papers, and then home to file them and fill out the rest of my own application. I took the first real action on my college plans. I called SCCC and U of I for my transcripts to be sent, and left a msg at my H.S. I'll call them again tomorrow since the person I needed to talk to was out to lunch.

I am going to go very part time this semester- just one or two classes to get my feet wet and get back into the student groove. Then more next semester if I get enough student loans. I am really hoping to get a scholarship :)

Right now the plan is to try to get my B.S. in Nursing, then go on for my Masters and become a Nurse Midwife. I think I can do the whole thing in 8 yrs. (2 yrs part time, then 4 full time for the Nursing program, then 2 for the Masters) If I can't do the Nurse track, then I'll do the Education track and become a Teacher. One way or another I am going to have a career that will let me put my kids through college and retire on my own merits :)

Back to school

This is our last full week of Summer vacation before the kids head back to school. I am taking DD to her 8th grade testing this week, 5 hrs of testing so we are compliant with OR homeschool law that requires us to test at the end of 8th. Then she will just have 1 more set of required tests after 10th. Registration for my boys is on Wed, and then the week after that we go back.

Littlest DS goes back to daycare/preschool on the 4th of Sept. I will be very happy to have him get a break from me. He's been a handful lately.

Rocky had his second week of puppy school. He socialized very nicely today instead of hiding under my chair. Made buddies with the german shepherd on our right and the St. Bernard pup on our left LOL. I was happy to see him come out and play :) His sister is in the class and he got her to be less shy too and actually wag her tail :) Last week they were the only 2 hiding under the chairs. It's the Chow in them I guess LOL. I gave him a bath today and he tolerated it much better than Taffy. Now he is all fluffy and clean :)

I found out this week my brother and his wife are having a baby :) My first niece or nephew on my side! It will be their first and they are due in March. I am so so happy for them. They waited a long time and I was worried they might wait too long. I know my brother will be a great dad. I just wish they lived in the U.S. Japan is so far away :(

I decided today that I must go back to school. I really feel like if I don't then I never will and I really want to get the show on the road. I need a career where I can definately make enough $ to justify the degree, and help pay for my kids college too. I am feelign the financial pressure of only 1 income and I know at my current stage of life I have to pick something that can pay off right away.

I know I am smart enough, and have the aptitude to do it, so I am looking seriously at Nursing with a fall back option of Teaching if I don't get in to nursing school. Around here those are two areas they actually need good people!

Fantastic Trip

Visited my mom and stepdad in ID with all the kids and the dog. Probably the best visit we've ever had with them! DH stayed home and worked. He watered the garden for me and enjoyed a kid free 11 days watching TV and working on the gravel path we are putting in on the side of the house.

We had moderately hot weather, but still tolerable without A/C. I took a bunch of photos of the kids skipping rocks into the Snake river :) Taffy and my parents dog Trevor took a few days to accept one another, but they played pretty well by the time we left.

I got to relax, decompress and read a lot :) Rarely get to just do whatever I want these days. How nice it was!

Came home Thurs and got a flat tire in an extremely fortuitous location- caught it before it got 100% flat in the last town before I'd have gotten stuck in the middle of nowhere!! 2 new tires later and we drove home safe and sound.

Then yesterday we went to the Circ Chimera http://www.circuschimera.com/ with my dad and stepmom. WOW that was cool :) The kids had a great time. The best part was the contortionist. She was unbelivably flexible! Just incredible!

Blue is my color

http://zenbear.com/personality_test/insight4.html

I'm definately a blue! I scored 32 Blue, 24 Gold 9 Orange

The Blue personality type is more difficult to describe than the other colors because the Blue's goals are somewhat nebulous, even in the mind of a Blue. However, more than anything else, Blues are in search of themselves. They are absorbed in the act of becoming. While the other colors go after straight-forward desires, the Blues are involved in a perpetual search for self. In a sense, their purpose in life is to have a purpose in life.

Blues are in search of themselves
The quest for self-actualization is never-ending. In a paradoxical statement of purpose, Blues want to become who they really are. This search for identity can cause some Blues guilt, since they feel what they are now is not all they should be. They may go from place to place, idea to idea, seeking their own uniqueness and an elusive unity with self.

Blues need to feel unique
Blues hunger for an identity that is unique. Blues must feel unique. They must feel that they are special. To be just one person among millions--a cog in the machine--is to be nothing. In whatever role they are in, Blues need to be appreciated for their unique contributions. They want to make a difference in the world. They need meaning in their lives.

Blues must be true to themselves
‘To thine own self be true’ strikes at the heart of Blues. They value integrity--not the kind of integrity that a Gold might value, dictated by societal conventions and ethics--but integrity of self. They must be true to themselves and their inner potential. To be in harmony with themselves, Blues must be genuine and authentic at all times. To do any less would be to lose the self they are seeking.

Blues look for symbolism
The Blues' desire for significance leads them to live in a world of symbolism. They are extremely sensitive to nuances and subtleties in gesture that are often imperceptible to other colors. They will notice the body language of a person that would totally escape the other colors. They look for metaphoric meanings. Because of this, the added dimensions Blues add to communication are often lost on other colors. Blues are also vulnerable to interpreting messages that are not always meant by other colors.

Blues value close relationships
Blues value close relationships. They bring to relationships a heightened sense of meaning and drama. Their relationships begin with enthusiastic anticipation accompanied by a considerable investment of effort and emotion. Unfortunately, many times they end in disappointment that what could have been was not. Blues give time and energy to a relationship freely, especially as it is developing. They are not necessarily concerned that their efforts be fully reciprocated, as long as some response is given. They are highly romantic and appreciate small tokens of love and symbolic gestures. Blues are deeply devoted and loyal friends.

Blues look beyond the surface
Blues try to see beyond the surface to what is good inside a person. Because of this romanticized view of others, Blues will sometimes remain in unhealthy relationships, always hoping that their partner will change. On the more positive side, in a healthy relationship this patience and optimism can help the relationship continue to thrive. The Blue will always look for something more in others, as in themselves. They cannot believe that the visible is all there is.

Blues share emotions
Blues like to talk about their emotions with others. They are good listeners and excellent communicators. Life, for a Blue, is something to share, feel and experience with other people. They want to understand and they want to be understood. The best way someone can show they love a Blue is to spend time talking, listening and sharing feelings.

Blues make decisions based on feelings
Many people consider Blues to be overly sentimental. Blues make decisions based on their feelings, not logic. The feelings of Blues are hurt easily. They are extremely sensitive to criticism. Blues tend to collect mementos, souvenirs, keepsakes and scrapbooks of things that are meaningful to them. They have many things they are unable or unwilling to throw away. Blues will likely have many photos of people and events that are meaningful to them.

Blues need harmony
Blues are not competitive by nature. A competition implies someone has to lose, and Blues want everyone to be winners. In a conflict, Blues will be more concerned that everyone is satisfied at the end than that their side wins. Though they do not give up their own ideas, Blues will often let others have their own way just to maintain harmony. In a group they will often take the role of the peacemaker. They are very sensitive to and stressed by conflict.

Blues are adaptable
Blues have the ability to appear to those around them as whatever those people want to see. Usually Blues will not find it necessary to correct these impressions. In general, they are very empathetic and are content to let others see whatever it is they seem to need or want. They will only share their personal view of themselves with those very close to them.

Blues are drawn to nurturing careers
There are also many Blues in fields such as psychiatry, counseling, teaching, religion and social work. They are driven by a desire to nurture others. Any career that provides the opportunity to help people develop into warmer, kinder, more loving human beings is likely to appeal to Blues. Blues see the potential good in everyone and devote themselves to cultivate this potential. For this reason, missionary work and the ministry attract Blues, as do social work and charity organizations. Many Blues are willing to make great personal sacrifices to help others find their way in life. Blues try to bring out that which is good in others. Blues can also be found in jobs that require a lot of social interaction, such as receptionists or sales clerks.

Professions that involve transmitting ideas and attitudes also appeal to Blues. Thus, many Blues become teachers (especially at elementary levels), even though Golds usually outnumber the Blues in schools. Blues tend to choose the humanities, arts or social sciences as their areas of interest. Regardless of the occupation, they like to be involved with people and communication. Blues in the work force need to have peace and tranquillity on the job. They do not like working in an environment where there is a lot of tension, disharmony or people arguing. They like peace and harmony.

No occupation is completely filled by one color. Sometimes Blues and Golds are difficult to distinguish because they both are drawn to service occupations. To see the difference, examine their motivation and what they get out of the job. Golds want to take care of the system. Blues want to take care of people. As an example, Blues will be drawn to nursing for the purpose of serving individuals and would enjoy helping, supporting, building relationships, and the opportunity to be with and meet others. Golds see it as a job to be done, and it is their opportunity and responsibility to do it.

Blues get involved in causes
Blues often have a sense of mission and use their creative talents to convert followers to their cause, whatever it might be. Blues are easily involved in causes, though they will not stay long if the cause does not have lasting significance and show itself capable of helping improve the conditions of people.

Blues have sought many ways to find deeper meaning in their lives. The encounter group movement was largely started and attended by Blues seeking an elusive intimacy and intensity in their relationships. They sought to find themselves and ‘get in touch with their feelings.’ The whole concept of group therapy that involves the open exchange of emotions is intrinsically Blue.

Blues are committed to ideals
Blues often have difficulty limiting the amount of time and energy they devote to work. This is because Blues are drawn to work that matters to them. Blues do not work on impulse; they work toward an ideal. Once Blues make a commitment to a production or endeavor, they are often unable or unwilling to limit their involvement. They can then be unreasonably demanding on themselves and others if it is for a cause or goal to which they are committed.

Blues explore a variety of areas
Unlike Greens, who stake out their area of competency, Blues are liable to move from idea to idea, dabbling in different areas. Like the Orange, the Blue wants to taste the abundance of life. Unlike the Orange, the Blue needs to find meaning in each experience. Blues will often romanticize events. They are more interested in people than in abstractions. Blues think about the possibilities in people rather than in principles or nature.

People matter most to Blues
People matter more than things to the Blue, relationships matter more than abstractions, and interaction is more important than action. As Blues seek to fulfill their potential and find a unique of identity, they come to realize that the process never ends. The important thing is to work toward becoming a final, finished person and help others along that same path.

Blues bring unity to society
The Blue personality is what keeps everyone working together. Blues are the mediators of the world. Blues are those who are always taking care of people's physical and emotional needs. They bring compassion and concern for spiritual matters to society.

Summer Vacation

Well Wed will officially start summer vacation for my kids. I am trying to wrap up all the end of the year loose ends before we motor over to my moms for a visit. I want to go while it is still cool enough not to fry in the metal trailer! Last year the poor kids were so hot. I want my mom cooled off too, she is as bad about being cranky in the heat as the kids LOL. The only other summer plans- go to the ocean for a 4 day weekend with DH and the kids, and lots of swimming and playdates for the kids. Oh and sleep IN!!!

On the career front,

1. Photograpy- looking into online classes, going to spend the summer reading reading reading the many books I bought on it. Thinking about specializing with babies and pregnant moms, maybe even birth photography!

2. Doula - Wouldn't be able to do it until littlest is in middle school, the kids need me too much to be available during the day. Birth is unpredicatable.

3. Midwife- still thinking about it, but the liability issue concerns me. Will have to do more soul searching

4. Author- always there.

5. Landscape Architect. Still not sure how to swing the degree on this one. Local U doesn't have a program. Still looking into online possibilities.

These are the top 5 for now.

35 and still alive

Long time no post!

I have passed my 35th birthday as of April 7th and I am feeling like I have crossed a milestone. Life is keeping on keeping on. Lots of kids stuff, mostly good. The boys are really thriving in their classrooms and the IEP meetings went well. My littlest is finally out of the "Let's make a big mess" phase and keeping to his toys and games instead of my kitchen cupbords so the carpet is safe once more LOL. He is the one who will end up turning my hair white though ;)

DD will turn 14 next month and is being all the teenage girl she can to make me feel like it's going to be over before I know it. Shooting up in height, a slender willowy emotional young woman who knows how to push all my buttons. Having to learn new parental ninjitsu to keep up LOL. Put parental controls with password on all computers in the house, what a pain grr. To be expected though that she would finally push the boundries. Wouldn't let a stranger just walk on in my home, so no online strangers without being approved by me in a moderated environment. Sigh, being a grown-up sucks sometimes. The sulkiness might kill me before she goes off to college. Also have decided to homeschool H.S. since she is really not ready for the crash course of the social minefield of public H.S. Better to keep her at the learning center where she has friends and is happy and learning. We'll worry about the rest later. Academically she's doing great.

DH is happy at work, life is actually pretty humdrum but that is a real blessing. Giving me more time to read and try to figure out the fancy camera I bought myself. It's a Canon Rebel XT. Very fancy digital SLR with all the bells and whistles. I can't do more than point and shoot with it yet but I mean to become an expert with it.

As far as my career search goes I feel just as far as when I started sometimes. I need to be able to express myself, learn things, use all the HAB gifts I have and still make $. A tall order. I am stumped for now. Fortunately I have another year before going back to school and small one in Kindergarten. I know I can figure it out. I have been playing with the idea of being a midwife. In Oregon it is really the easiest state to do it. I have to see about the legal liablility coverage though. There is a school here where I live. I could also be a doula. I made it through 4 labor and deliveries of my own without meds, and I was a coach for my friend when she had her baby. I love pregnancy and birth so maybe that is a path I could take. I need to feel it out though, it requires a lot of time away from my family at odd hrs. But maybe when they are older. Something to let bubble underneath my subconscious.

Just something fun

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Becca+Anne

Click on the 6 qualities you feel best describe me

My Personal Dna Report

Latest and Greatest

Medical stuff seems to be in the air in my house,
DH is now sleeping much better and no more snoring and apnea now that he has been put on a CPAP machine at night to help keep him breathing! He was starting to fall asleep typing at his desk at work and I was watching my husband slip away. I am so grateful for modern technology!!! He also has been having major dental work done this month- 2 crowns, and today he got the first one put in. He is in major pain and may still lose the tooth :(

Jake went to the ENT yesterday- everything checks out there so no need to have any surgery. I am supposed to monitor his sleep and report back if I notice any apnea.
His blood tests last month for allergies came back with everything fine except a severe allergy to cats, and a low allergy to dogs. We have had 3 cats since he was born! We have a dog. He is now on an antihistimine and I am still considering how to keep the cats out of his bedroom. I may have to resort to putting the cats outside, and making them a "cat house" with heat lamp. I am so torn because we love our pets so much, but between my allergies to the dog, and Jake's to the cats I feel like a bad parent for trying to keep them :( But I know all 4 of my kids would be miserable without their beloved pets! A no win situation!

As for me, I'm still way too overweight, not eating right and I know I need to make some major changes for my health. I am going back in for my follow up allergist apt in late Feb, and hoping to take the allergy shots soon afterwards. It will be a several year committment with weekly, then monthly shots. I am afraid, very afraid LOL but I know its for my own good. I am managing well on my asthma meds, Advair + Zyrtek seem to be the magic combo for me right now. We'll see when spring hits with all the pollen!

I bought a new camera, a Canon EOS Rebel XT. It is a digital SLR camera. I considering Professional photography as a career option. It's not on the list I came up with, but it fits into my love of celebrating life, working with people on my terms, spatial ability (composition), detail orientation, specialist nature and introverted need to work in a field where I control my own work schedule and environment. At the very least I will be able to take much better photos of my kids! At heart I am an artist, and photography is a really fun medium to play in.

What Color are You?

BLUES are motivated by INTIMACY, seek opportunities

to genuinely connect with others, and need to

be appreciated. They do everything with

quality and are devoted and loyal friends and

employers/employees. Whatever or whomever

they commit to are their sole (and soul)

focus. They love to serve and will give

freely of themselves in order to nurture

others lives.

BLUES, however, do need to be understood. They have

distinct preferences and occasionally the

somewhat controlling (but always fair)

personality of a confident leader. Their code

of ethics is remarkably strong and they

expect others to live honest, committed lives

as well. They enjoy sharing meaningful

moments in conversation as well as

remembering special life events (i.e.,

birthdays and anniversaries). BLUES are

dependable, thoughtful, nurturing, and can

also be self-righteous, a bit worry-prone,

and emotionally intense. They are like

sainted pit-bulls who never let go of

something once they are committed. When you

deal with a BLUE, be sincere, make an effort

to truly understand them, and truly

appreciate them.


What Color Are You?
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Puppy's 1st birthday

My Taffy girl is a year old today :) She's come a long way lately in the training dept, listening so much better. I bought a gentle leader halter and boy does that thing work! I'm ever so impressed YAY no more pulling while we walk!!!

Jake is 8

My fiesty red head turns 8 today :) Can it really be that long since I gave birth at 7:50pm to a squalling bright red wiry tiny 6 lb 5 oz baby who I took one look at and thought "I can't believe that's MY baby" LOL He was cute in his own way but looked so very different from Cassie and Max.

Home from the hospital one day old and wants back in that nice warm cozy place he misses!

Now he's a big kid in 2nd grade with a smile that could melt butter and a twinkle in his eye. He loves jokes and gives great bear hugs :)
Today with the most expensive stuffed animal ever, but worth every cent! He asked me for a Yoshi stuffed animal, and I HAD to get it! :)

MIA

I've been out of my mind for the past month and a half- sick kids, then I got sick, got diagnosed with Asthma, and dealing with my boys school situations and pretty much feeling like crawling into bed and not getting out.

I am pretty much terrified that they won't gain enough skills or ability to cope with life that they won't be able to grow up and leave home. They are getting older, and bigger, and unless we get some help soon I am afraid I won't be able to cope much longer. My heart is pretty much breaking into a million pieces. I probably won't be looking into my future career for awhile, my curent job as caregiver/mom is the only one I am allowed right now :(